


Some Day

by YlvaUllsdotter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13.22, Angst, Coda, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Drabble, Mary Winchester - Freeform, SPN - Freeform, Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, head canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 11:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14617145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YlvaUllsdotter/pseuds/YlvaUllsdotter
Summary: After Dean and Sam share a hug, Sam goes to take a shower before he and his brother go to find their mother.





	Some Day

**Author's Note:**

> I was re-watching Supernatural 13.22 'Exodus' and realized that in between the bro-hug scene and when the brothers come over to Mary just as she punches Lucifer in the face, Sam changed his clothes and cleaned the blood off. In my head I saw him in the shower, and thus this drabble came to be. It's angsty. I apologize for nothing.

The water was lukewarm at best, and more dribbling than showering, but it still felt good to wash the blood off. Sam shivered as the memory replayed in his mind, the horrific pain of his flesh being torn, the feeling of life leaving his body as he bled out. Eyes closed, he focused on taking slow deep breaths just to keep from vomiting all over himself.

Nothing he did would stop the memories though. Waking up in darkness, finding Lucifer there, realizing the Devil was the one who brought him back to life. For a moment Sam had been back in the Cage, at the mercy of Lucifer’s sadistic whims and had almost preferred death to owing his life to pure evil.

Without even being fully aware, Sam had crouched down in the shower, making himself small, trying to fight back the feelings of helpless rage. A ragged sob broke through, and it was as if it had ripped a hole in the wall holding it all back. He bit down on his arm to keep from screaming from the emotional pain as ragged sobs fought their way from deep in his chest. He allowed himself that moment, just one single moment, to feel the pain, the helplessness, the anger. 

Standing up on shaky legs, he turned his face towards the shower head, letting the water fall on his face, washing the emotions off, locking them back up behind the wall. His hands braced flat against the wall of the shower stall, pure willpower the only thing keeping him from clenching them into fists and punching a hole in the wall. 

Rubbing a hand over his face, he imagined he was erasing the emotions, allowing himself that small delusion. He took a couple of deep breaths, until his breathing came evenly again, without the tremble that betrayed how shaken he really was. 

Turning the water off, Sam stepped out of the shower, finding a towel and clean clothes. While he dried off and got dressed, he focused on his breathing, each slow deep breath helping him patch the hole in the wall, brick by brick, until it was whole again, his emotions put away.

Some day he would talk to Dean about all this. Some day when things calmed down. When there was time to sit down and just talk. He knew Dean had things he needed to get off his chest as well but now was not the time, for either of them. 

Taking one last deep breath, Sam steeled himself and walked out to find his brother.


End file.
